why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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