I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
