Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
