I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
