you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
