Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
