Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
