OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
