I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
one two three fourrrrnication!
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
