Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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