We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
