also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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