i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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