Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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