I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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