My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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