she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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