it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
