we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize