how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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