I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
