You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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