That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
