Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I love you.
Bad choice
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
