My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize