honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize