Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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