I like my sex mixed with concussions.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
