this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
