He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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