Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
