its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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