Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
