bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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