i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
