Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize