I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
