Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
