Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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