It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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