Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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