remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
it glows. i had to have it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
