Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
