He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
