After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
