Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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