theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Green mimosas i think yes
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
