Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
