this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
