Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
