It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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