That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
