Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
