what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
