In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
