what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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