I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
