I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
