awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
