you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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