so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
