There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
